Joy Through Pain

My Wife is Pregnant

My wife is 22 weeks pregnant! We are having a girl. This is huge!

We’ve been struggling with infertility for over 3.5 years. I acknowledge that this is a relatively short period of time for those who’ve been struggling for 10+ years and an eternity to those just entering into infertility treatments. For us, it’s been horrific.

 My wife has one the trickiest form of PCS (I think there are 3 kinds) which has made it exceptionally difficult to conceive. We finally were able to make it happen after something like 2.5 years and 8 weeks later we lost our baby. On the verge of giving up, my wife was able to conceive again a couple months later and we found out she was pregnant with triplets! Two identical twins and one fraternal twin. We lost one of the identical twins at 6 weeks and the other at 11 weeks. We kept expecting to lose our last baby every single day until we could get out 20-week ultrasound. There were some pretty bad scares mixed in there too.  

But we found out a couple weeks ago that our remaining triplet is a precious little girl and she is very healthy! So far everything looks great. We mourn the loss of her two triplet siblings are her older sibling that we lost the pregnancy before her even while we rejoice for her and her health. We’ve often wrestled with knowing what’s the appropriate emotion to feel and when. But we’re getting through it together and with a lot of support from friends and family.

So, we are having a precious little girl! To be honest, I was hoping for a boy. However, five minutes after we found out my little D1 men’s wrestling champion was probably not going to be doing that, my heart was transformed. I realized I could just as easily live vicariously through a daughter as I could a son!

That’s wrestling headgear FYI and this is mostly a joke. I will try my best not to live a second life through my little daughter. But I am pumped to raise this little lady and I’m hoping and praying for a continued healthy pregnancy for my wife and a healthy delivery for our little one. I acknowledge that nothing is given—we’ve learned this lesson through many tears. In this world we will have troubles. Serious troubles. There’s no quota. We haven’t met some trouble deductible. The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away, and Blessed be the name of the Lord. I know we could still lose our little lady. But boy am I hoping we don’t!

Thank you to everyone who has been praying for us. Please continue to pray. The little lady is due on Jan. 28^th 2024. I really want to see this little girl.

I acknowledge that there are folks reading this who are currently longing for children and are experiencing infertility, loss, or unfulfilled relationship desires. I see you guys. I know it’s hell. There are all sorts of confusing thoughts and emotions that crop up continually. The idea of a stunted “legacy” pops in out of nowhere. Lack of fulfillment and despair are confusing. Shame and guilt for feeling these things. Hot daggers to the heart from well-intentioned friends. I know it. It’s just the worst. If you want prayer, hit me up in a dm on one of my socials and I will add you to our list. There are a lot of people struggling. Your situation is unique, but you’re not alone.

Thank you to everyone who has supported us in regards to infertility. Thank you to everyone who has supported us in prayer. Thank you to everyone who has financially supported my public philosophy efforts and everyone who’s heart strings have been tugged and want to start supporting my efforts (just kidding, don’t do that (I mean maybe, but not for that reason)). Thank you to everyone who has listened to a video or read a post. I have a giant network of friends, family, acquaintances, and subscribers who encourage me daily. It is all so huge and so undeserved. Thank you all. Again, please continue to pray for my ladies.

God is good.