The Measure of a Man

The following post is a transcript of episode 3 of my podcast, Proverb Peddling. Feel free to read this post, watch the video, or read along with the video. If you do like this post, then leave me a comment on the YouTube video, it will help me build up the podcast. Enjoy!

Welcome to Proverb Peddling, I’m your wisdom dealer, Parker Settecase, and this is a show where I help you understand a proverb and a saying, the words of the wise and their riddles, in order that you may live a life of wisdom.

In this episode we’re going to reflect on the follow wise saying:

“Measure a man by the opposition it takes to discourage him.”

Now, I’ll take wisdom wherever I can find it. In this case, I found the saying “measure a man by the opposition it takes to discourage him” in a picture on Facebook of the University of Wisconsin wrestling room from the 1970s. The picture was of Lee Kemp, one of the USA’s most decorated wrestlers, and the saying was painted on the wall of the room in the background.

I’ve been wrestling for over 22 years, I started in first grade and I still continue to wrestle to this very day, mainly with guys from the Northwestern team. With that said, I may be predisposed to find wisdom on wrestling room walls. So, if this saying doesn’t have the ring of wisdom to you, then you’ll at least have an error theory for why I think it’s so wise.

“Measure a man by the opposition it takes to discourage him.”

Now while I found the saying on a wrestling room wall, I’m sure it didn’t originate there, but I’m not exactly sure where it did originate. I’ve seen it attributed to John C. Maxwell who says “you can easily determine the caliber of a person by the amount of opposition it takes to discourage him or her.” But there’s no way it’s original to him, you can tell he tweaked it a bit, added gender inclusive language, and passed it off as his own.

I’ve also seen it attributed to Jerry Falwell Sr. and that quotation is closer to our wrestling wall saying. He says “A man’s greatness is measured not by his talent or his wealth but by what it takes to discourage him.” And I’ve also seen other variants of the saying from folks like former US ambassador to the UN, Adlai Stevenson II, “you can tell the size of a person by the size of the things that bother him.”

So like many gnomic statements, it’s hard to know who exactly to attribute it to, it probably goes back to some old sage in a cave somewhere but there will always be some modern figure willing to put their own stamp on it. But whatever the case, we have the saying now, so let’s figure out what it means.

“Measure a man by the opposition it takes to discourage him.”

I really love this saying because it functions as a kind of negative test—it’s a test of resilience rather than a positive test of abilities or accomplishment. It’s not a test of a man’s wealth or accrued status. It’s also not a test of ascetism, that is, how much a man has intentionally withheld from himself. It’s not a test of a man’s prowess as a lover or as a fighter. It’s not a test of a man’s might in the weight room or agility in the field. It’s a test of mental, volitional, and emotional fortitude. How much can you take and still continue on in good spirits?

If it takes minimal opposition to discourage a man, then he’s effete, weak-willed, pusillanimous, soft; he’s a coward. If it takes a lot of opposition to discourage a man, then he’s heroic, mighty, valiant; he’s courageous. It’s simple and it’s beautiful.

While you can use the saying as a condemnation of weak men, I don’t think this quote needs to function that way. Instead, it ought to be a reminder to be valiant in the face of adversity, to strive for excellence even in the face of much opposition. You don’t write this kind of proverb on a wrestling room wall in order to tear down the men that you lead, you write it up there to build them up and inspire them. Be tough minded. Have an iron will. Be emotionally strong.

Now, of course, it takes wisdom to apply wisdom, and this wise saying is no different. It doesn’t say “never be discouraged or you’re a weak wristed coward!” It just exhorts the reader to measure a man in proportion to the amount of opposition that it takes to discourage him. If it only takes a little then that man is soft and needs to toughen up for his own sake and probably for the sake of his friends and family as well. If it takes a lot of opposition then that man is strong and worth emulating. But if it takes an unreasonable amount of opposition to discourage a certain man, then perhaps he is foolish or crazy, right? There may be a point of diminishing returns where we judge a man as being out of touch with reality and unable to appropriately measure the odds he’s up against. Perhaps you should be hesitant and discouraged by certain astronomical odds.

It takes wisdom to properly apply wisdom. A misapplication of a wise saying can still lead to foolishness. Our saying, in view here, is no different. The deficiencies are obvious, if one is too easily discouraged then he is a coward. But as we’ve seen, there are excesses as well: if you’re out of touch with your situation than you can be foolhardy or rash. Here it will be helpful to consider Aristotle’s golden mean of courage, which he covers in his Nichomachean Ethics.

In book three of the Nich. Ethics (“Nich. Ethics is what all the cool kids call it. This lesson is for free), Aristotle continues his analysis of moral virtue. All throughout his study of moral virtues, he finds extremes which are opposed to each other on either end of a spectrum and demonstrates why a golden mean between the two picks out the true nature of the virtue in view. So for example, what moral virtue needs to be considered when pleasure is in view? Temperance—which is the golden mean between self-indulgence on one extreme and insensibility on the other.

He considers truthfulness, ready wit, good temper, pride, and others, but for our present purposes, it’s his treatment of courage which is most important. Just as temperance the virtue which is a mean between the vices of self-indulgence and insensibility, so courage is the virtue which is a mean between the vices of cowardice and rashness.

According to Aristotle, “the coward…is a despairing sort of person; for he fears everything.”[1] This is the man who is discouraged by little to no opposition. He goes on to describe the rash man as such,  

the rash man, however, is also thought to be boastful and only a pretender to courage; at all events, as the brave man is with regard to what is fearful, so the rash man wishes to appear; and so he imitates him in situations where he can. Hence also most of them are a mixture of rashness and cowardice; for, while in these situations they display confidence, they do not hold their ground against what is really fearful.[2]

So, the coward has no confidence in the face of opposition, the rash and foolhardy man either pretends to have courage but withers away in the face of true opposition or is too foolish to accurately assess the opposition against him. The brave man, in distinction to the vices of cowardice and rashness, possesses the virtue of courage. This is a man who

…faces and who fears the right things and from the right motive, in the right way and at the right time, and who feels confidence under the corresponding conditions, is brave; for the brave man feels and acts according to the merits of the case and in whatever way reason directs.[3]

So, measure a man by the opposition it takes to discourage him. If it takes little opposition, he’s a coward. Don’t you be a coward! Take courage. Prepare yourself for action and build confidence in yourself to face adversity and opposition with a stronger will, a tougher mind, and emotional strength. If no amount of opposition is discouraging, then you’re crazy or a liar. You’re rash and foolhardy. Stop. Evaluate the situation with a clear head so you can actually prepare for the opposition facing you. Be courageous. Stand strong in the face of much opposition. Prepare your will for it, make it ironclad. Gird up the loins of your mind and be tough. Attune your emotions to be rock solid under heavy opposition but tender and caring when the appropriate situations present themselves.

Be a man that can be measured and not found wanting, but found courageous, optimistic, heartened—even in the face of much opposition.  

Well, all has been considered. For those who have ears, let ‘em hear.

This has been Proverb Peddling. If you have a wise saying that you think I need to know about then drop them in the comments for me. Until next time, embrace wisdom.

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[1] Aristotle, Nichomachean Ethics (Oxford World Classics) 51.

[2] Aristotle, Nichomachean Ethics (Oxford World Classics) 51.

[3] Aristotle, Nichomachean Ethics (Oxford World Classics) 50.